I have realised I'm woefully uninformed about my own city. Must do something, quick-fast!
Kolkata is a village. Everyone knows everyone. Not only that, you always have a 50% chance of meeting a known person wherever you go (even if you are not Dhruba Ghosh). Varsha saw me at Crossword on Friday. I saw Jonny at Crossword on Friday. Insap saw me at Oxford with Ron on Saturday . So did Varsha. And I saw her too. Also, a cockroach. Creeping around the shelves that store cookery books, at one end of the Cha Bar. It occassionally flew down too. But I did NOT scream. Hardly cringed. And that's the truth.
I was walking towards the metro station along the Indian Museum pavement. I saw shirts and shorts being sold for INR 10, 20, 25 and 35. I got a shorts worth Rs 35. Because the man had already packed the Rs 25 stuff. And I didn't spot the 10 and 20 stuff till slightly later. Anyway.
I was wearing cotton pant (green, Fab India) and shirt (green, Fab India kids [8-10yrs], torn at the sides). At the Metro ticket counter the man asked me "kota tickit?" I held up a finger. He said, "tumi eka Tollygunge jabe?". Very patronising and all. I smiled and walked away. Nobody coiuld see the balloon swelling inside me. It's been a long long time since somebody mistook me for a tichy kid . Last time someone asked me which class I was in, was nearly a year back. People generally assume I'm in college now. Some shaheb even told me that i looked older than my 23 years. So, this, coming just days, weeks before, is wunnerful!
I'm not unhappy about the size of my breasts. No, i know, nobody asked, but just. Two of my (girl)friends once made jokes about that because i said, er, you know, that they(the girl friends, or rather, their boobs--not mine) were over-endowed. You are free to disbelieve me. But, seriously, how long can one obssess about breasts if one isn't a male of the human species? Or a newborn babe?
I have rediscovered my love for walking. Long long looooong walks. By oneself. With a camera. That is a new addition though. In school I was known as this crazy person who just walked-and-walked. I once made two of my frail and fay like friends walk from Park Circus to Landmark through Shakespeare Sharani in the midday heat of May. I don't think they have truly forgiven me.
I love it when my nose gets all sunburnt and brick red! It just happened once, though. On a trip to Singur when Ani was there with us.
I love the smell of old books. And new Penguin paperbacks.
I believe in VHEMT. But I would pop kittens out if I could. Kittens are soooooo adorable (not least because they learn to feed themselves and are toilet trained within a month of being born).
I don't believe in marriage. It's just taking permission from the state or society for sleeping with someone. And I believe who I sleep with can never be anybody else's business. So.
I'm enjoying being on my own, now. Yes, there are memory pangs and sorrow. But apart from that, I think i'm better on my own. I'm setting this down in writing in a public forum so that it prevents me from messing things up again. Basically I'm a loner. No use fighting that anymore. Must come to terms with and embrace it.
And yes, i know i take bad photos, mostly. But who cares? I like it. And I want to have a camera that takes nice photoos at night as well. Cameras are cheap in Nepal. *keeping fingers crossed*
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