And now am going away. Will I ever truly belong to the city in times to come? It's like losing the connection you shared with your best friend. Suddenly I feel lost and rootless (I who have shifted to 6 different houses in 6 different localities in the first 20 years of my life and therefore was proud of my free-floating-ness). And inexplicably depressed and sad.
All those cliches come rushing back to me: "city with a soul"..."warm and friendly and helpful people"..."mishti doi"..."boi para" (which they are destroying to erect a book mall)
I think i sort of understand the predicament of those lost looking disdainful NRIs (though they are assholes undoubtedly and i'm a genius)--you feel hurt at the (perceived) rejection from something(one) so close to you that you never even needed to examine the relationship. So you resort to some more cliches--oh dusty sooty underdeveloped ugly......
Tell me that there are other ways to react, to cope, to continue to love, to continue to belong, to continue to feel that you're returning home
2 comments:
Of course you'll belong to the city. Don't buy into this insecurity. Eta hobe, kintu phirey ashlei bujhte parbi shob theeki achhey :-) I think we get insecure maybe because we worry how others will perceive us... jemon amake onekei NRI bole khyapay. Kintu tatey kan na dilei holo..belonging-na-belonging is often so visceral je oshobe kichhu ashey jay na.
will miss you.
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