a new beginning...a beginning? a fucking new beginning? that's what i wanted right? and do you want to know why the fuck it wouldn't ever work out? because of deaths...i just feel blessed blessed blessed that i have such weak faculties...that i don't suffer from a vivid memory...that i would be able to forget and get a good night's sleep inspite of being witness to the death throes of a little kitten casually run over by a car...and does that make me cynical? hell no! that's easy...even YOU can do it...it'd be so easy to write with mordant cynicism--

nono why should i be upset? kitten after all not child. i need my eight hours long sleep, at least with its short futile life it inspired one blog post , etc

but i'm not that person anymore...as i said that's the easiest way right? sit on your couch and sneer saying nothing's changing so i'm going to the US of A. No i don't care how unfair that is to a b and c who have settled abroad.
I don't want to remember her (she was a calico) pain--which was mercifully shortlived, not that that takes anything away from a horrendous and gruesome death. I just want to remeber my anger and the feeling of impotence. For a second time today i'm regretting not taking down a car's number. Fuck this!, I want to say, I'm joining the ALF--at least they don't kill people. And as for all those people who exclaim in shock horror and awe at the mention of the 't' word, for a change try to do something. come out of your insulated air-conditioned cars, offices, and homes and stop fucking complaining. you are the priviledged lot. you are the drivers and passengers on that car who are insulated against the sight of the convulsions, the blood oozing out of the nose and mouth, the dying screams of a pain-racked terrified kitten.