Monday, December 26, 2011

Random Rambling Rant

Don't know where I'm going..with this post, with furniture rearranging or without studying. Seems like I'm in a limbo: treading dark womb waters but can't wait to be born and also, in some ways dreading that moment. Whattodowonly, life's so complicated sometimes.

My thoughts are in disarray. L was right when he pointed out how much my travel quotient has whoooomped in a year. I fear I'm falling into the same trap of ticking lists: Paris, Beirut, Barcelona...Never will have enough time/money to live in ecah of these wonderful places I think. And even if I did, with every second a thousand priorities tear at me. Cats, work, Kolkata, Dilli, Europe, Palestine, Kashmir, strays, veterinary nurse, research, composting, cooking, photographing, fabric-shopping. Our possibilities are inexhaustible. Yet each day lasts only a few hours here (literally: sun rises at 9am sets at 4pm). And most of the days go buy obsessing about lack of studying and watching episodes of House M.D. Scrubs 9 sucks big time, btw.

I think the lack of posts here are also indicative of a reluctance to share and a confusion about what to write. I feel overwhelmed by new impressions. Most of them are lost in mazes of memory the rest I fear will be lost in translation.

Spoke to PC today. Took a long walk along the woods to Scheveningen (didn't go all the way, of 'cos). Procrastinated,-ing.

I'm bad at short travel trips. Still cannot make my mind up about Paris or Sao Paolo. Most people would enjoy such things. Somehow I just exhaust myself. Such a weirdo I am. Thoughts go round in loops. Maybe it's time for automatic writing. Or just plain getting down to and finishing those bloody papers.

1 comment:

kaichu said...

Come back, maddy. i mees you.